oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
where does the pee come out of this thing
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
