I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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