i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She bit a glass in half.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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