I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
