Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
