Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
