Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
