Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
