mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
