she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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