too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
