we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
