Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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