Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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