Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i think i just lost a toe
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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