I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
