you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
