I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
