just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
