I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
