Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Less talking, more tequila
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
How does it feel to date your dad?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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