There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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