I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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