His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
