no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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