i don't like sucking hair
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think your dad took our porno
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize