i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
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