so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
