I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You've changed since you got that strap on
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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