marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
