How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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