ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
