take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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