i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
