I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
