Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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