Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
