he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just had sex on a roof
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
