i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
