its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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