first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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