Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
operation harelip BJ is a go
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
