everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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