yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
