My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
