she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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