the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The power of my boobs compel you
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
