i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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