K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
