I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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