a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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