We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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