What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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