the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
