mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Enjoy the penises
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
