Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
