There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
