Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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