I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
