thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
