Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
